The Joy of Simplifying and Letting Go

Do you feel like there is too much to do, and not enough time to do it? Do you feel overwhelmed, like you don't have enough time or space in your life?

Maybe you need to simplify. Maybe you need to let go.

A shaping principle of my life is this: identify the "main things," and put those in first. In other words, determine what is most important to you. Your family relationships? Your faith? Your job? A particular project? Learning a new skill? Put those main things into your life, and fit the smaller, less important things around those. 

There may be things that are on your To Do List that you may need to let go. Because guess what? We don't have unlimited time and energy. We have particular units of time (days, weeks, months), and therefore have to choose how we spend that time. 

Last week I did a thorough overhaul of my clothes closet and dresser. I emptied both out completely, and began a process of deciding what to keep and what to let go. I kept only what gave me a sense of joy - clothes that I actually wear, clothes that I truly enjoy. In the end, I had two garbage bags filled with stuff that I gave away. The result was a closet and dresser that were simplified, decluttered, and only contained things worth keeping. 

"Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest." - Marie Kondo

I believe that same process can be helpful as we think about our tasks and responsibilities. Let's be thoughtful about what we make time for.

There are all sorts of obligations and errands to do. There is an endless barrage of information, articles, TV shows, and emails that could fill our time. If we're not mindful, those things could completely overwhelm us and rob us of tending to what really matters.

Each day I have the capacity to do a particular amount of tasks. Today, for instance, my main things are: make a big batch of chili, do 30 minutes of yoga, do work email, write a blog post.

Those are on my To Do List. There are other things that I hope I can do, but may need to let them go (at least for now). For those items, I put them on a Maybe To Do List or a Do Not Do List. These two lists only exist in my mind, but perhaps I really should write them down as a practice of mindfulness. In any case, I need to let go of things that won't realistically fit into my day. These include take a nap (Maybe To Do...it sounds lovely), read all the articles in Feedly (Do Not Do. In fact, I'd love to declutter Feedly by unsubscribing from a bunch of things), clean the fridge (Maybe To Do...because really, who cares?).

For me, simplifying and letting go is a necessary practice. It allows me to be truly present to what is most important, to experience life with joy and freedom, and to be a good steward of my time and energy.

Happy Things for the Solo Parent

Steve is away this week on a work trip. He usually has these trips about once a month, so we're learning how to make it work with our family life. On my end, even though we've done this a few times, I still need to intentionally find ways to help the kids and myself thrive. Here are a few happy things I've been doing this week to enjoy the solo parenting:

1. Go on a walk with my toddler.

2. Take a trip to Starbucks and guiltlessly splurge for a gingerbread latte.

3. Try a new haircut. 

4. Bake and cook with the kids. Aaron wanted to make mochi, so that's our fun activity for this afternoon. 

5. Facetime or text with Steve when I need to connect with my faraway spouse. 

6. Do spontaneous things with the kids. Unplanned trip to Costco because the kids enjoy the samples...why not? Say yes to things they want to do (unless it's Aaron asking if I will play the card game War with him. Then it is ALWAYS no.)

7. Have lots of story time with the kids on the couch. 

8. Take naps while my toddler naps. 

9. Ask a friend to watch the kids so I can be alone for a few hours. 

10. Cook simple, quick meals.

11. Go to sleep earlier than usual. 

12. Connect with friends who get me.

13. Watch Top Chef, Parenthood, or other fun, mindless TV.
14. Be okay with less showers, messier floors, and dirty laundry.

15. Stretch and do yoga. 

16. Give kids some crayons, Scotch tape, and paper. Let them create!

17. Read.

18. Take a few deep breaths and let go of expectations for how things "should go."

Happy Things: Fashion Edition

For today's Happy Things, I thought I'd share some of my fashion favorites:

Abalone Necklace (Modcloth)

Great statement piece for both casual and dressy looks.

Black & white tribal maxi skirt (Charlotte Russe)

Comfortable and stretchy enough to wear before and during pregnancy.

Reversible tote (Nordstrom)

So many options with this reversible tote bag. Who wouldn't want this?

It comes in various colors. 

e.l.f. Eyelid Primer

Your eye make up stays on all day long with this stuff. 

And it's super cheap! $1.00 in most drugstores or $3.88 on Amazon.

This awesome shirt

Someone buy this for me, please.

Silver ballerina flats (Jessica Simpson)

I wear these all the livelong day.

Happy Things

Movies on the lawn. 

The Lego Movie + sleeping bags + friends = great night.

 Ginormous chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.

Seeing this guy up close at the LA Zoo.

USA is moving on in the World Cup! 

I've never felt so patriotic in my life.

Summer reading.

Happy Things

Playing on our homemade craps table during our weekly community dinner.

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell. 

A beautiful, simple love story between two misfits set in 1986.

Planning for Thanksgiving! 

Finally, after a few pretty stupid holidays (yeah, I'm talking to you, Columbus Day), we get a great one. This year, my family is renting a house in Santa Cruz for a few days of food, hot tub, games, and early Christmas gifts. 

Apparently, naps have all sorts of health benefits. 

That's good news, since I have been taking a daily afternoon nap.

What Does the Fox Say. Yes, this is a completely absurd song and video. 

But it makes me laugh and dance every time.