Thursday, January 29, 2009

The 10-Year Reunion Dilemma

I had a dream last night that I attended my 10-year high school reunion.

In the dream, I regretted every moment of it. There wasn't a particular reason for hating it, other than I just felt unbelievably awkward. Every feeling of insecurity and discomfort I experienced in my gawky adolescent and teen years came flooding back. When I woke up, I immediately breathed a sigh of relief that I was safe and sound in my present self and life.

My 10-year high school reunion is fast approaching. High school classmates are chattering about it on Facebook and MySpace. And I keep thinking to myself, "Will I go?"

On one hand, it might be fun. The thought of getting reacquainted with old friends is intriguing. What is everyone doing? How have people changed? On the other hand, I just don't know if I want to go there. And by "there," I mean back to old social dynamics, previous friendships, and my high school self. I had a relatively good, non-traumatic high school experience, but still.

I imagine that it would feel odd to step back into that world after changing so much. My life and who I am are so different from what they were, as I'm sure is the case with most people. Will attending my high school reunion feel too foreign? Will I get caught up in comparing myself to other people's accomplishments? I don't know if I'm prepared for that.

So I pitch the question back to you. Would/did you attend your high school reunion? Why or why not?

23 comments:

  1. I had my 10 year reunion this past summer and I went. It was a blast! It was really nice to see everyone and we all had a great time. It wasn't awkward and I didn't really feel like people were being compared to each other. If anything, it was nice to see how much everyone had grown up and changed and to catch up with people's lives.

    I think you should go. You may be pleasantly surprised!

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  2. Gaah. My 10 years is due this summer; I haven't heard of any plans to have any formal reunion, and I'm almost hoping that I don't. I think if I were to write a post deliberating, it would look a lot like this. I'm not ashamed of who I was in high school at all, but I'm really glad I'm not her anymore.

    My high school was really really small, too, which could go one of two ways: it could make things fun and intimate, or could bring back all the cattiness of of our teen years together. I'm still on the fence.

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  3. I'm thinking I won't go... As nice as it would be to reconnect, I'm thinking there is probably a reason why the majority of the relationships just kind of fizzled out. More than anything, I think reunions are just a reason for everyone to get together so they can evaluate how much better they did than others/how fat that ex got lol

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  4. I didn't attend my 5 year reunion because I was living in another country at the time. And to be honest I wasn't too sad. But I think when we have a 10 year reunion, I will go (if I can). It'll be in 3.5 years though so who knows where I'll be living etc.

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  5. The only reason I went ot mine was because my childhood friend who now lives in Cali forced me. It was "alright". I mean, really... we don't change ALL that much in 10 years, do we? There were certainly the quiet shy types who evolved into exuberant and boastful individuals but... for the most part it was exactly as I had remembered. I actually arrived 2 hours after it had began and everyone was feeling very "toasty" and EXTRA friendly by that hour... everyone except me! I was overwhelmed. But, it was interesting. My husband on the other hand... he was VP of his class and he completely refused to attend. He wanted nothing to do with it. HAH! :)

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  6. Well, I homeschooled myself in high school, so technically any time I visit my parents in Pennsylvania I'm "attending a high school reunion." But I have imagined going to a reunion at the nearby public high school and pretending that I really went to school there. I'd tell the alumni my rags to riches story about how I used to only have one shoe to wear to school but now I'm a princess and I have ponies.

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  7. oh i would totally go. but i loved my high school and i'm always curious to see what people are up to and what not, at least what i don't already know from facebook, haha.

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  8. Happy chinese new year to you too! :)

    I would attend my 10 year, although I missed out on the 5 because I was too far away. haha Then again I don't have any resentments or any weird feelings about my time in high school or any awkwardness, I'd go just to reconnect with my friends back then! (The ones I haven't seen since, anyway.)

    Let us know what you decide, and why! :) It might be fun, you never know...

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  9. Find yourself an unbearably hot guy, a great dress and just tell everyone that you've been jetsetting around the world.

    i'd just make it up as i went along. thats half the fun.

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  10. I went to my 10 year reunion and it was great to reconnect with my high school friends. 10 years doesn't amount to much change. Our class was small compared to most schools so about 35% of the class returned for the reunion. I had a bunch of friends that hung out so it was great to hang out again.

    Would I attend the future ones? I think so...the 20 or 30 years probably will show much change with everyone.

    What ever you decide I know you will make the right decision for you. Take care!

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  11. You know, I am not to the 10 year mark yet, but we did have a really informal, meet at a bar, 7.5 year reunion in December. And you know what? It was awkward. There were about 10 of us there...really just the people we were absolutely closest to in HS. I'm still close with a couple, but the rest of them, not so much. I hadn't seen people in a really long time and we didn't have much to talk about. Maybe the 10 year one with more people would be better, but I think I'm pretty sure I'm NOT going to be attending. Ugh...it just makes me feel like taking a cheesegrater to my eyeballs. haha.

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  12. My five year reunion was in November. I had tickets to a hockey game, but I probably wouldn't have gone anyways. I think five years isn't long enough. Ten years, maybe, depending if anyone I was friends with in high school would be going. That's just me.

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  13. I am dreading my high school reunion and I'm like you, did not have a bad experience. I just don't want to fake interest or concern for people I didn't keep in touch with. But my best friend is making me go with her, so oh well.

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  14. I am withya, same high school, same dilemma. I think the intrigue factor has decreased now that you can just keep up with those you are interested in on facebook. If I happen to be home and happen to have the shelter of friends I maintained from that time (Cristina, Sarah, You!) I could be convinced but I'm not flying 3,000 miles just to put myself back into the dynamic of highschool. A west coast reunion for the Maui ppl over here could be fun. Or a drama club reunion. Something that might remind me less of sitting in the cafeteria at a pep rally wishing i was anywhere else.

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  15. I don't live in the state where I grew up and went to high school, so going back for anything is always a chore. I didn't go to my 10-year high school reunion. It was in 2002, and we were just too busy. Our high school does a reunion ever 5 years, and I didn't make it to the 15-year (in 2007) because we were already going back for one of my nephew's First Birthday Bash, and making two huge trips like that back-to-back wasn't going to work. (I think the reunion was 2-weeks after his birthday, or something like that.)

    Since then, I've reconnected with a ton of people on Facebook...so much so that I think going to the 20-year would be fun!

    Time will tell, I guess. :)

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  16. I would have, except that I was 8 months pregnant and still pukey.

    (Three years until the) 20th, definitely! Man, I'm old. How did that happen?

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  17. Ten year reunion sounds fun to me. It might be because of the group of friends that I had was an interesting one that I know most have moved on from the high school stage. Seeing them would be more pleasurable than nostalgic. Maybe that's because I was not deeply rooted in the high school scene. I can go back without going back to "old times" because I never cared back then.

    For you, I'd think you would be able to present yourself proudly without feeling degraded by what other people have done since high school. But I don't know what your relationships were like in high school.

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  18. I don't think I will. It wasn't a good time in my life and all the friends that were worth it I still see about once a month. :)

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  19. ugh as much as i complain about it, I know i'll end up going to my 10 year reunion. my 5 year was fun, because everyone looked great and seemed to be doing good things! so that was nice to see

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  20. I missed the 10 yr, but just went to the 20 yr last summer. It was a blast. Everyone who attended seemed genuinely nice, even the ones I didn't really hang with in high school. I think you should go if you can. Good excuse to go home and eat good food again.

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  21. My 10 year reunion is this September. I'll most likely go to it, only because one of my best friends is organizing it! :)

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  23. realize this is a little late in time, but I would really appreciate it if you all came back.

    Living on Maui, I have no reason not to go, even though the people I would really like to see (you, Emily, etc.) may not be there. I do occasionally run into classmates and it kind of weirds me out, so the reunion is going to be a bit odd.

    I'm still not entirely sure what we are doing for the reunion, but I would like to see the Drama people again, if possible

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