Happy 1st Birthday, Aria

Dear Aria,

Happy birthday, sweet daughter!

My heart cannot handle the reality that you're turning one. You have been here for a whole year, and what a year it has been. Last year you arrived a little past your due date, and were heartily welcomed by our family.

With your grand entrance as the third child, our family life got more topsy-turvy. Now the kids outnumber the parents, and it's wild and fun and messy. You often make loud noises and yells, seeming to simply want to be noticed. Don't worry, we see you!

This past year is filled with lots of memories with you. You went from barely sleeping (ugh!) to sleeping through the night (hooray!). You traveled to California, took your first plane ride in first class, got dedicated at church, tried and loved most new foods, got your first four teeth, and are almost walking.

You love dancing to music, laughing with your siblings, putting everything into your mouth, saying "Dada" and "uh-oh," eating food samples at Costco, splashing in the ocean, being tossed into the air by Dad, taking baths, and tearing up paper.

We celebrated your first birthday with all of your grandparents and a lunch party. You blew out a candle and got a bowl of ice cream, which you loved until you experienced your first brain freeze. Then you cried and screamed.

May your next year of life bring lots of wonder and joy.

I'm so grateful that you are in our lives. I love, love, love you.

Your Mama

Thankfulness

This year our family began a new tradition. It's called the Thanksgiving Tree. Every day we write down things we're grateful for, and hang them on the tree. On Thanksgiving Day, we'll read them out loud. Then the following day we'll decorate it for Christmas. More time with our tree, more time to practice gratitude.

This season of Thanksgiving is timely and meaningful for me. I've noticed recently that there is a buildup of frustration in me. I think this frustration is coming from my perception that my life feels scarce. Sleep feels scarce. Money feels scarce. Emotional energy feels scarce. 

But each day I walk by our Thanksgiving Tree, and think to myself, "What do I have to be grateful for right now?" Every time I consider this, I experience a shift in my soul. My heart expands in awareness of how much I have. I experience joy and contentment. Bitterness and anxiety melt away. I recognize the abundance in my life. I remember that every single good thing I have is a gift and grace from God that I didn't earn or deserve.

Here are some things I am particularly thankful for right now:

1. A growing friendship with my parents. They are really quality people, and I love spending time with them every week.
2. Getting to connect with family and friends over FaceTime. 
3. My husband. He's my partner in life, and we have it pretty good.
4. Great schools and teachers for our kids. 
5. Our housemate Ryland. We have built-in community with someone who we genuinely love.
6. A healthy, functioning body.
7. Friends who volunteer to babysit our kids. 
8. Resources to travel to California to spend time with family for Christmas. With a family of five, this is no small thing.
9. My friend Cathy. In our friendship, we share, laugh, cry, and end up better people because of each other.
10. A home where we can rest and welcome others.
11. My three kids who each add so much love and joy to our family. 
12. Hugs that are a whole lot more than just a hug.
13. A computer, car, and vacuum that all work. 
14. Our church community of risk-takers and faith adventurers. 
15. A moment today of quiet stillness.
16. Getting to spend time doing what I love. The big pieces of my life - writing, parenting, discipling people - are all things that I want to be doing.

Halloween Costumes

We take Halloween pretty seriously in our family. An excuse to dress up in costume and procure free candy? Yes, please. This year we have a theme for the whole family. Photo to be posted after Halloween. Until then, here are some throwbacks from past years.

 Surfer Dude & Pillsbury Doughboy

 Upside Down Guy & Chinese Lucky Cat

 Monk, uh...Creepy Guy(?) & Marcy from the Peanuts

 Russell (holding Dug), Kevin & Carl from Up

 Cat in the Hat (my dad), Ladybug, Court Jester (my mom) & Hula Girl.

I was too lazy to dress up.

 Sully & Boo from Monster's Inc.

Olaf & Batman

That Time I Lost It With My Kid

Before I became a parent, I used to imagine there was this child-raising formula: love + good intentions = great parenting. Now that I have actual experience in actual parenting, I realize that it doesn't really work that way. Because guess what? Parenting involves human beings. And sometimes, humans beings are messy. 

I lost it last week with my daughter.

She is three. She is passionate, feisty, and sometimes goes berserk (as three-year-olds are inclined to do). On average, she has about 3-4 meltdowns per day. These meltdowns may be triggered by any number of horrible experiences. Such as her oatmeal didn't have enough milk in it. Or I asked her to pick up the utensil she dropped. Or her pull-up diapers "feel squishy."

Last week, I was helping her get ready for naptime. She was in her bed, and asked me to turn her fan on. I did. Then she complained, "I can't feel it!" I adjusted the fan closer. "I still can't feel it!" I pulled the fan as far as the cord would reach, and positioned it four inches from her face. "I still can't feel it!" I took a deep breath, reminded myself that I needed to be the calm adult, and moved the fan again. "Okay, this is the best I can do," I told her. She kicked the air and shouted at me, "I STILL CAN'T FEEL IT!"

Snap. My frustration boiled over, I lost that tiny shred of rational thinking, and I shouted back, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

Which is obviously a productive question to ask a toddler. But I didn't stop there. I stormed out into the living room, to where my husband was sitting on the couch.

In a desperate attempt at sympathy and help, I said, "I don't know what to do with her FUCKING FAN."

It was basically my version of a tantrum. Things were not going the way I wanted, and I was angry.

Steve's eyes went wide, as he silently pointed toward the coffee table. Crouched under the table was our six-year-old son. My kid had just witnessed his mom yelling the f-word loud and clear. While that new bit of information dawned on me, my gallant husband tried to play off the moment, saying, "Hey Aaron, were you hiding from Mom? She had no idea you were there! Okay, time for your nap."

In that moment, I was completely horrified at how badly I had messed up.

Mean, accusing voices spun through my head. What a terrible mother you are. Good parents don't yell at their kids. Those are the words I hear when I screw up. I know they are lies, yet I still hear them.

But then a different voice spoke up in me. You're human. She's human. Humans screw up sometimes. You're learning.

A mentor of mine, who I consider to be an amazing mom to her three kids, once told me, "I love my kids. But sometimes, I really want to just kick them." Her words capture for me just how human and messy this parenting thing is.

I love my kids and try to do my best as their parent, but sometimes I really screw up.

I'm learning to be okay with losing it once in awhile. And to apologize and ask forgiveness. And to extend compassion when other people lose it.

Maybe parenting isn't so much about doing it great all the time. Maybe it's more about sticking with each other through the mess and screw ups, and continuing to love each other.

Happy 6th Birthday, Aaron

I write letters to my children on their birthdays. Here is last year's letter to Aaron. 

Dear Aaron,

Happy Birthday, son. Holy ninjas, you're six!

We had a birthday party at Magic Island Park with family, friends, a bounce house, and chocolate cupcakes. This was the first birthday when you had an opinion on friends to invite; it was fun to see you playing with your classmates.

Highlights of this year...

You started kindergarten, where you enjoy playing during recess and learning how to read. I realize that learning to read is a pretty common skill, but it amazes me that you've gone from identifying letters to actually reading multi-syllable words and sentences. You also love math, and thank goodness your dad is a great math teacher, because I am totally not. I will do lots of art projects with you, though.

You're a great older brother to your sisters. Being the oldest comes with challenges, but you're learning. You and Alex go from best pals to worst enemies about twenty times a day, and often need coaching in conflict and reconciliation. You're super affectionate with baby Aria, and treat her with so much gentleness. Thanks for your willingness to help with dishes, laundry, and the occasional diaper change.

I can sense you transitioning from little boy to boy. You still need our help in lots of ways, but are also growing into your own independent person. You still cry if you're hurt or sad, but are now able to recover quicker and manage your emotions.

The other day you took your first karate test (and passed!), and I was amazed at your confidence. You take after Dad, and love board games. On a typical week night, we'll sit around the dinner table and play a good game of Settlers of Catan. Not the kid version, but the real adult one.

You love peanut butter sandwiches, reading Elephant and Piggie books, making paper airplanes, watching the Friday Waikiki fireworks from our porch, playing Plants vs. Zombies on my iPhone, making people laugh, counting the money in your piggy bank, and sleeping with Herman the stuffed manatee at night.

There are days when I look at you with disbelief. How did the time pass? And I remind myself to give you a quick hug and to listen well to you.

I love the boy you are, and the boy you're becoming.

I love you always.

Your Mom

Baby Aria Is Here!

On March 10, 2015 (5 days after her due date), Aria Li Mei Marks entered into the world!

She's a healthy newborn - loud cryer, constant eater, cat napper, and maddeningly dead set against sleeping at night.

And now we have THREE kids. The chaos just got real. We're figuring out a new normal with an infant, toddler, and 5-year-old, which feels both insane and fun.

Happy Things for the Solo Parent

Steve is away this week on a work trip. He usually has these trips about once a month, so we're learning how to make it work with our family life. On my end, even though we've done this a few times, I still need to intentionally find ways to help the kids and myself thrive. Here are a few happy things I've been doing this week to enjoy the solo parenting:

1. Go on a walk with my toddler.

2. Take a trip to Starbucks and guiltlessly splurge for a gingerbread latte.

3. Try a new haircut. 

4. Bake and cook with the kids. Aaron wanted to make mochi, so that's our fun activity for this afternoon. 

5. Facetime or text with Steve when I need to connect with my faraway spouse. 

6. Do spontaneous things with the kids. Unplanned trip to Costco because the kids enjoy the samples...why not? Say yes to things they want to do (unless it's Aaron asking if I will play the card game War with him. Then it is ALWAYS no.)

7. Have lots of story time with the kids on the couch. 

8. Take naps while my toddler naps. 

9. Ask a friend to watch the kids so I can be alone for a few hours. 

10. Cook simple, quick meals.

11. Go to sleep earlier than usual. 

12. Connect with friends who get me.

13. Watch Top Chef, Parenthood, or other fun, mindless TV.
14. Be okay with less showers, messier floors, and dirty laundry.

15. Stretch and do yoga. 

16. Give kids some crayons, Scotch tape, and paper. Let them create!

17. Read.

18. Take a few deep breaths and let go of expectations for how things "should go."

What to Expect When You're Expecting Again

After being pregnant once, each subsequent pregnancy is a completely different experience than the first.

The first pregnancy is the Honeymoon. You are a human-creating Goddess. Everything is new and beautiful. Even the uncomfortable moments like morning sickness are nature's pleasant reminder of the miracle growing inside you. Strangers look at your belly adoringly, and comment how lovely you look. Second (or third or fourth) pregnancy has lost the romantic novelty factor. You don't glow anymore...you're just crazy tired because you're waddling around, taking care of your firstborn. Strangers give you pitying glances at your stomach in the grocery store as you try to console a crying toddler. 

I'm currently in the second trimester of a third pregnancy. Which means that I have done extensive research on the differences between first and additional pregnancies. Here are a few things to expect when you're expecting again:

Eating:

First pregnancy - You take notes when your O.B. runs through the list of pregnancy dietary rules, and obey them with vigor. No sushi, no alcohol, no soft cheese. You up your intake of folic acid and omega-3, and dutifully take your daily prenatal vitamin. Only the best nutrients for your little fetus. 

Second pregnancy - You realize that 9 months is way too long to abide by all those nit-picky eating rules. You eat some raw fish and have a few sips of wine, and feel free to not go crazy about the outside possibility of contracting a food-borne disease. If you're lucky, you remember to take a prenatal vitamin once a week. Mostly, you just hope that your baby can glean enough nutrients from ramen noodles and ice cream, because that's all you can stomach.

Shopping for Baby Stuff:

First pregnancy - There's a whole world of new things to get for your new baby. And people are excited to give them to you. So you spend hours upon hours researching the best strollers, carseats, and baby carriers out there. You create a baby registry, and get to open loads of cute baby stuff at your shower. 

Second pregnancy - No big baby showers. You have most of the stuff you need, albeit used versions with pasta sauce stains. All you really need at this point is to wipe down the high chair, and buy some new pacifiers because the old ones are in some sandy crevice in the car. Second baby has to be content with hand-me-downs. It'll build character, right?

Body Changes:

First pregnancy - Every change is an exciting milestone. You take photos of your growing belly each week. When you finally have enough of a bump to buy maternity clothes around week 20, you go on a special shopping trip with your girlfriends. People encourage you to rest and nap as much as possible; you happily comply. Your husband offers to give you massages and get you your favorite ice cream at your whim. 

Second pregnancy - Your stomach is so huge by the end of your first trimester, people think you're about to go into labor. You forget to take belly photos until maybe halfway through the pregnancy. But by then you don't feel beautiful; you feel huge and bloated, and you don't want to document your chubby face and butt. No naps for you, because you have a young kid to tend to. You pass out around 8pm every night from sheer exhaustion.

Birth Preparation:

First pregnancy - You research the birthing process extensively, reading every book and website possible. You watch videos on the Bradley method, write up a very detailed birthing plan, and discuss said plan with your O.B. Hospital bags are packed and doula services are procured months in advance.

Second pregnancy - Your water breaks before you even have a chance to think about the baby's birth. You and your husband scurry around at the last minute, getting someone to babysit your older child, and installing the carseat at the hospital.

General Emotions:

First Pregnancy - Every single milestone is exciting and momentous. You're anxious about being a first-time parent. Joy and anticipation are shared between you and your spouse. You feel overwhelmed with love for your baby.

Second pregnancy - Each milestone is barely noticed. You're so uncomfortable, you wonder if you can even make it to the end. You're anxious about being a parent of multiple children. Joy and anticipation are shared between you, your spouse, and your kid. You feel overwhelmed with love for your baby (again). 

The Dreaded Parenthood Question

"What do you do?"

"What's your job?"

These questions have left me in a state of perplexity recently. The other day, while filling out my personal information on a form in a doctor's office, I was stumped by the box labeled, "Occupation."

For years I have had a clear answer to the job question: "I'm a campus minister." And while that term always needed a bit of background explanation, it was still a clear title. Now that I've stopped working for pay, and care for our children full-time, my status has suddenly changed. I don't have a job in the workforce.

I'm happy and satisfied with that decision, but how do I respond to questions that assume being a part of working society is important to one's identity? I know the obvious terms that I can use, but they all sound lame and inadequate to me.

Stay-at-home mom (or the acronym SAHM) - This is probably the most frequently used term, but it really bugs me. Most "stay-at-home" parents I know of rarely stay at home. I'm frequently on-the-go, driving kids to and from school, taking my toddler on trips to the park, running errands to meet the demands of our family. One time someone in all seriousness said this to me, "You're a mom...you must have so much time on your hands." I didn't know whether to laugh or slap that person.

Full-time Mom - I've used this one on occasion, but don't like what it implies. Is a working parent like my husband a "part-time parent"? Are there "no-time parents"? Parenting is not merely a task you can take or leave at the punch of a timecard. At best this term is silly, and at worst it's offensive.

Housewife - Excuse me, but my identity is not solely dependent on being someone's wife. And housewife? That sounds like a woman who is locked up in the home all day by her domineering husband. Or an upper-middle class society woman who plays tennis at the country club. Again, a poor term. I have never heard someone call a stay-at-home dad a "Househusband."

Homemaker - A slight step up from the term housewife, homemaker is still a dissatisfying label. I'm pretty sure it was made popular in the 70's. While I love cooking, I am not choosing to pause on being in the professional workforce for the sake of micromanaging my family's domestic life. Couponing and keeping a spotless home are not my main priorities. Now if "homemaker" can mean prioritizing the family and home (and not simply the house), then maybe I can get on board.

I suppose I could simply say, "I'm unemployed." But even that requires more explanation.

In my opinion, we need a better term for the multitude of men and women who care for their children full-time, and aren't working for pay outside the home. A term that is accurate and honoring.

To get your imagination going, here are some of the duties in my current role:

• Multi-tasker Extraordinaire
• Counselor
• Full-time Human Developer
• Educator
• Day-care Provider
• Referee
• Housekeeper
• Toddler Chaser
• Personal Chef
• Childhood Development Specialist Researcher
• Lego Builder
• Hairdresser
• Chauffer
• Band-Aid Dispenser
• Life Coach
• 24-Hour Milk and Diaper Maid
• Storyteller

So tell me, how should I refer to myself in those instances when asked what I do? What term fits best?

How about Queen of the Family and Household? I think I'll use that next time.

We're Expecting Baby #3!

Our family will be growing by one more! A baby boy should be arriving in March 2015.

We're all excited. Aaron is the most thrilled, especially after praying every single night for at least 6 months for a baby brother.

I just passed the first trimester, and for anyone keeping record, this third pregnancy is rough times. I've been constantly nauseous and tired, way more than I ever experienced with the first two pregnancies. The baby's due date feels like a marathon finish line that's 20 miles away. Hopefully I'll reach that pleasant second trimester upswing soon.

We're in a new home, new city, and now with a new baby on the way. Why not, right? Can't wait to meet our baby boy!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Alexandra

I write letters to my children on their birthdays. Here is last year's letter to Alex.

Dear Alex, 

Happy birthday, sweet girl! You're a whole two years old today. 

I know that each year in your life will come with its own changes, but this past year felt especially accelerated. 

Your expressiveness, language, and personality have emerged in all sorts of ways. You really show us how you feel, whether angry when we can't understand what you're saying, or overjoyed when Daddy gets home. 

You've picked up so many words, though still spoken in sometimes indecipherable baby language. 

Gak = milk
Ca-ca = coffee (or the Starbucks logo)
Ayax = Alex
Dee-dee = thank you
Ooh-ooh-aah-aahs - monkey (or her pacifier)
Jimmy Fa-fa - Jimmy Fallon

You're charming, social, quick to try new things, resilient, and pretty fearless for a toddler. You love to flash your smile at people, give them an exuberant, "Hi!," and wait for them to respond. You can pretty much climb anything at the playground with confidence. And if you get hurt, your emotional recovery is quick. 

You love bath time, playing with Play-Doh, eating (nearly all the time), doing whatever Aaron is doing, getting tickled by Daddy, piggy-back rides, reading books together, giving hugs, playing at the park, and attempting to do things by yourself. 

Like a typical two-year-old, you have a strong will and lots of emotion. Sometimes that gets frustrating for you - to want something but not be able to adequately do it or express it. But we'll make it through this. 

I love your fireball spirit. I love that you're feisty and tough and joyful. And I hope that we can be a family that is a safe place for you to be yourself. 

I love you, daughter. 

Your Mommy

How to Thrive, Stay Sane, and Not Go Ballistic On My Children

I'm temporarily flying solo with the kids all week while Steve is away on a work trip.

Whenever we do this, I have a heightened appreciation and awe for single parents who do this all the time. Seriously, that is another level of superhero. Thankfully, my husband and co-parent promises to return. If at least so we can resume watching 24 together.

But in the meantime, I needed a proactive plan for this week. Because here's the thing: as much as I love my children, being with them non-stop for more than a day can feel like Crazytown. From previous experience, I've learned that some things - meltdowns, the emergence of Dragon Mom, and desperate texts to Steve ("OMG our kids are freaking nuts") - are unavoidable. Nevertheless, there are some things that help me to survive.

How to Thrive, Stay Sane, and Not Go Ballistic On My Children:

1. Do one activity per day to get out of the house. 
2. Hang out with friends. Schedule a few play dates, have friends sleep over, talk to people on the phone. Find ways to connect with adults and have real conversations. 
3. Prepare meals with extras for leftovers ahead of time.
4. Go out for afternoon ice cream and playtime at McDonald's.
5. Pull out some "new" toys from storage. 
6. Eat out or order delivery. Pizza solves lots of problems. 
7. Borrow books from the library.
8. Go to the park.
9. Make popcorn and watch a movie at home.
10. Get some babysitting help.
11. Turn on the hose for water play in the front yard.
12. Extra coffee (for me, not the kids).

Thanks to my friends who gave some great encouragement and tips via Facebook. 

We're Moving to Hawaii

I'm excited to announce a big change coming up for our family - we're moving to Hawaii!

On July 27th we'll be moving from Los Angeles to Honolulu. There are several reasons for the move, but the most important is that we believe God is inviting our family to be there.

In Hawaii, Steve will continue working in college ministry with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. I will transition out of work to be a full-time parent. Aaron will start kindergarten just a few days after we arrive on Oahu. Alex will keep on living the good life of a toddler. We'll be close to my parents, grandparents, and lots of extended family.

The change feels exciting and daunting. Lots of hope for what's to come, and lots of sadness about leaving.

I'm already having anxiety dreams about packing up our things and shipping them across the Pacific Ocean. And the thought of saying goodbye to our friends, home, and life in LA brings me to tears. But to move to Hawaii means being home in many ways, where I think our family will thrive.

With our move to Hawaii, we're ending a rich chapter in our lives, and turning the page into something new and unknown.

Kid-stagram

Toddler leash, a necessary parent accessory at Disneyland.

 Synchronized monkeying around at the pharmacy.

Fight on!

Weekend face painting. Frankenstein's monster was Hapa, apparently.

Easter baskets.

 Popsicles on a warm afternoon. What could be better?

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Signs You've Acquired a Toddler

A new creature has entered into our household. 

If I didn't know better, I'd say it was an untrained pet from the store, or an alien life form that arrived from a different planet. But I do know better because this has happened to us before. We now have a toddler. 

Our daughter, once a peaceful infant, is now a full-blown wild ball of energy and crazy packaged in 2-ft. of chubby. For all those who think they've possibly acquired one of these mysterious creatures, here are some signs:

1. Your carpet is covered in graham cracker crumbs and Play-Doh. 
2. Laundry day used to be once a week. Now it is daily.
3. You hear the word "no" an average of 200 times per day.
4. You are commanded to read Moo, Baa, La La La over and over and over. And so you hide it, and pray it'll never be found again. 
5. If you ever leave the house without reserves of goldfish crackers or string cheese, you'll be sorry.
6. The word "gah-gah" has multiple different meanings (sock, milk, coffee, glasses, cracker, and sometimes oatmeal), and if you don't understand its particular use within three tries, and respond appropriately, all Hades breaks loose.
7. You've yelled the phrases, "Stop eating dirt!" and "Don't touch your poop!"
8. If you lie down on the ground, a smallish but hefty person will think you want to wrestle or get pounced on.
9. Pampering yourself means shutting the bathroom door and taking a three-minute shower every other day. If you're really going for glamour, you change into clothes that aren't yoga pants and a stained t-shirt.
10. You fall asleep with the Caillou theme song on repeat in your head.
11. Every board game in the house is missing pieces or has bite marks. No one can play a real game of checkers anymore.
12. While searching for a lost ball under the couch, you've discovered the source of "that mysterious weird smell" is a months-old partially full sippy cup of milk. 
13. Dance parties consist of Ring-Around-the-Rosie. 
14. The bottom third of your television screen is covered in little fingerprints. 
15. You've strained your back while trying to carry your squirming kid, a diaper bag, and 3 bags of groceries from the car to the house. 
16. If someone forgets to close the bathroom door, the roll of toilet paper will quickly be unraveled, non-flushable objects will be thrown in the toilet, and toothpaste tubes will be emptied of their contents.

How about you? Have you joined the toddler party?

Kid-stagram

A case of the sillies. 

We discovered LA's guardian animal watching over

Downtown at Vista Hermosa Park.

Fashion piece of the day: hats. 

Alex's choice of hat: Aaron's Angry Bird undies.

"Oh, is there something on my face?"

"Yay, I can wear pigtails now, and avoid being mistaken for a boy!"

Playing at the San Diego Zoo.

Found them in the tunnel at the playground.

Kid-stagram

New Year's Eve.

Milk mess.

Helping out with laundry.

They have this sibling ritual every day when we pick Aaron up from school.

Afternoon at the park.

Fun weekend with my parents visiting!

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A Letter to Myself On My 33rd Birthday

Dear Larissa, 

Happy 33rd birthday!

You're in your THIRTIES - a vague time period that, as a kid, seemed to sing of old, moderately disillusioned lady teachers wearing pearls and frocks. Clearly that was a weird, immature perception. Your thirties have been awesome.

This year you enjoyed a whole lot of parenting moments, spiritual formation, and risk taking. With learning how to do life with a part-time ministry job, two young kids, a husband in full-time ministry, living in community with seven other friends, and planting a missional church, it has been abundant with chaos, messiness, adventure, and fun. Life is stretching you to grow in grace and humility.

In fact, a lot of this year has been characterized by embracing imperfection and experiencing God's grace. You consider yourself a recovering perfectionist, which involves accepting how things are rather than how you imagine they should be. Your kids help this process along, constantly reminding you that joy and sacred moments and creativity can be found in engaging with the present moment.

Also, you are learning how vital the habit of gratitude is. The simple practice of gratefulness continues to deepen your joy, contentment, and peace. Especially during those days when you have fussy children, a pile of laundry to do, and the inclination to tear your hair out.

You're a little more authentic and courageous these days. Believing more and more in your inherent value and worth, you're less prone to insecurity and fear. You are taking more risks as a leader, making decisions out of conviction, and more free from what others may think of you. Less mom fear, and more just being a mom. If this is the trajectory that comes with progressing in age, then bring it on!

You and Steve are smack dab in the middle of making some pretty major life transitions. This has been both frightening and exhilarating, and has been such an area of growth and partnership in your marriage. I wonder if, years later, this will be a year that was particularly foundational and catalytic for "the rest of your life." It has been a time rich with God's tangible and supernatural presence and voice.

There is so much to be grateful for. Two healthy, joy-filled, unique children. A marriage that is a relationship of vulnerability, faith, and partnership. An expanding vision for how our lives might fit into God's greater purposes. Friendships that are life-giving and faith-expanding. A God who is kind, good, and with you in every moment of every day.

- Larissa

Today was a good day. Here's what you did:

Ate pumpkin chocolate chip cookies for breakfast

Fancied up the nails

 Lounged with these two munchkins

Drank a rose water martini

Bought some cute, comfy pewter flats

Had caramel brownies for dessert

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Kid-stagram

Bathtub antics.

 Checking out the view from LA's Griffith Observatory
after a family hike.

 A rare moment of rest on a morning stroll.

 Men being men. 

Aaron shaves with a fork, and takes it very seriously.

With my family at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk
during Thanksgiving weekend.

Moo.
Don't you wish you had your own cow pajamas now?

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