Thoughts on Marriage

 Wedding day, June 17th 2006

 A friend's wedding, spring of 2010

Exactly four years ago, I was walking through a sea of family and friends, making my way toward the man who was about to become my husband. That day was filled with a lot of laughs and sweet memories, but really it marks the day we began this incredible journey of marriage.

I realize four years is a somewhat short span of time, especially compared to all the amazing couples who have celebrated 25 years, 50 years, and entire lifetimes together. But I feel like we have learned and grown so much in our marriage, pre-married life seems like eons ago.

This year in particular was a significant one - our son Aaron turned into a walking 1-year old toddler, Steve had a major knee injury and was on crutches for several months, we purchased and moved into our first home and became landlords - certainly the most challenging year for us so far. But here we are, still married and still going.

Some thoughts on marriage:

• Marriage is all about choices. Every day of being married, I have the power to choose to live out the commitment I made on our wedding day. Some days it's easy, some days it's more of a challenge. When things get hard and the lovey-dovey feelings just aren't enough to carry us through, we both need to continuously decide that we are in this for the long haul, no matter what happens.

• Being part of a team is invaluable. We each bring different things to the marriage. Steve does the finances, I take care of the meals. Steve contributes spontaneity and fun, I add some stability and nurture. Steve helps me keep perspective when I feel overwhelmed, I help him stay on task when he is tempted to bounce from one thing to the next. As partners, we complement each other's strengths and weaknesses, and balance each other out.

• Unexpected life events can be weathered when faced together. Boy, we certainly experienced this one in the last twelve months. Unplanned circumstances have come our way, from the burdensome to the joyfully surprising. At every new turn, I have been thankful that I have stability and companionship with my husband. When I am apt to freak out with anxiety, I am comforted by the sole fact that Steve is with me in it all.  Somehow, everything feels more like an exciting adventure together.

• Marriage has the potential to make you a better person. Without a doubt, I can say that I am a better person because of Steve's presence and influence in my life. I am less selfish, more likely to grant the benefit of the doubt to others, more patient and thoughtful, more capable of finding the humor in life, more self aware, and the list goes on.

With every passing year, I am convinced that I married an amazing man, and am grateful for our life together.  Happy anniversary, Steve. I love you.